the one where I accidentally write an essay

So I went to a (GREAT) DJ set by The Bug yesterday in London. Seriously -- this man is off the chain. Aside from the fact that it was so, incredibly, refreshing to go out and listen to exactly the kind of music I want to hear i.e. not rock and roll, he was spinning reggae/dub/heavy bass all night and it was just great.

Anyways, it was a dude ranch, and me and my girl friend were pretty much the only two chicks there, and I kept getting all these that-chicks-a-ho looks and assumptions.

yeah.

now, for the record:
1) i was not dressed suggestively
2) i was not acting suggestively.
3) if you have been reading past posts, and your all like say what bitch you were toasted, yes: i was drunk (see 2 posts below, theres no way im linking to a mouse scroll) but more so when I left the club, and I generally know what I'm doing when I drink.
4) disclosure: I had just had a free makeover with my friends in london earlier (SO FUN!) that I had won (DOUBLE FUN!!!) so yeah, my face was certainly done up, but there was no 'do me' written on my face in lipstick. it was of course an option, but i declined.

anyways, what the fuck man? just because i don't dress in clothes that impart my cultural tastes (well, I get that that statement can never be entirely true, but lets not get into cultural influences shit now) its like I must be some "ho" (I use that word only for the connotation...?) who happened to stumble into your mans dj set.

here's the whole thing about sexism, and any ism, period: it doesn't allow people to be whole. I can't possibly have be dressed up and not wearing skinny jeans and ironically sized glasses and be into music.

Now I sound like I'm tooting my own horn here, but the fact is that it was frustrating: none of the people - dudes - i chatted to knew who the bug was or were particularly into the music. Cool, fine, whatever, but isn't that shit IRONIC??? I was also talking to a guy about jazz (fuck i sound like a hipster) and homeslice would not take me seriously for a too-long period of time. he was cool in the end, but if I was a dude, or wearing something that wasn't so club-y perhaps, I'm sure he wouldn't have hesitated.

and like absolutely anyone else, I shouldn't have to change.

I admit, my instances of sexism are incredibly benign relative to the ongoing history of women, but honestly they are no less important. I've experienced many shades of grey with all the various isms that come along with being a woman, and a minority. Luckily mine have all been light grey if you will hahah but its still out there, it still contributes to the greater ethos. Its frustrating when a guy makes a dish cleaning joke. Or when someone at the library asks specifically for a 'man' for IT help, right after you ask him what his query is. Its demeaning that there is are multiple "future trophy wives" groups on facebook. Although I am obviously of the right-to-choose mentality, that shit just pisses me off.

Its funny, this whole post has made me entirely angrier about the subject hahah on a day to day, even week to week often, its not something that crosses my mind for longer than the instance itself, but the cumulative effect as I age is certainly eye opening.

And the classic question: how to change something that is so ingrained in a culture? I edited this post: at first, I used words like slut and bar skank, and realized the incredibly hypocrisy of it all (hence "suggestive") and just how much I contribute to all the isms in the world. Its astounding: just how much do we 'intelligent' (whatever that means) individuals, who likely believe ourselves to be politically correct, culturally sensitive, worldly, what have you, contribute to the exact problem we believe we are no part of?